(Update – 5:20 p.m. CDT) North Dakota’s congressional delegation have since tweeted similar photos of Mount Rushmore, all but confirming a North Dakota invasion in South Dakota could soon be imminent.
BISMARCK — Fears mounted North Dakota could soon invade South Dakota late Monday afternoon following an ominous tweet from North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum. The tweet featured a photo of Mount Rushmore labeled with the indistiguishable North Dakota Tourism Logo.
“While the world watches in horror as Russia escalates the Ukraine crisis, a disaster is unfolding here on our homeland,” said South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem in a statement. “North Dakota has long envied our crown jewel of the Black Hills: Mount Rushmore. My administration is concerned by Governor Burgum’s aggression which is why I have ordered the South Dakota National Guard to deploy at a moment’s notice, should we need to defend our borders.”
Following Burgum’s tweet, members of the North Dakota National Guard were observed loading Dot’s Prtetzels into military convoys, signaling a long, drawn-out conflict could be in store. The 5th Bomb Wing stationed at the Minot Airforce Base was also placed on alert status following Burgum’s tweet.
Governor Burgum’s staff quickly denied Noem’s claims, noting Burgum was merely expressing gratitude for his neighbor to the south.
“Governor Burgum and Governor Noem have always shared a special relationship built on gratitude,” said North Dakota Foreign Minister Svedka Smirnoff. “These statements are nothing more than blatant propaganda to boost South Dakota’s tourism numbers following North Dakota’s most successful tourism season in history.”
Observers say Governor Burgum could feel increasingly emboldened to annex South Dakota following his ratings boost during his 2022 State of the State address in Fargo.
“In Governor Burgum’s mind, he sees endless opportunity and limitless potential to create a tourism powerhouse,” said South Dakota Tourism Director Crystal Phetamine. “With the completion of both the Theordore Roosevelt Presidential Library in Medora and the Buffalo City Park in Jamestown, combined with the World’s Largest Sandhill Crane in Steele, Mount Rushmore would be the crown jewel of Burgum’s ultimate goal of cementing the region as one of the world’s premier tourism destinations.”
Burgum’s vision for a united North and South Dakota were first realized during the Trump administration following a Change.org petition to unite the states into a “Megakota. Burgum’s tweet sparked renewed supsicsion that the North Dakota Governor is the author of the petition.
Following fears North Dakota could annex South Dakota, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz issued a statement of condemination, warning Burgum Minnesota could impose stiff sanctions on North Dakota if the conflict continues to escalate.
“Minnesota is deeply concerned by the startling developments near the North and South Dakota border,” said Governor Walz. “If Governor Burgum in fact invades South Dakota, we fear Minnesota could be next, as its no secret Burgum has long envied our land of 10,000 lakes. We will not hesitate to impose stiff sanctions on North Dakota by closing our borders, canceling broadcast access to our sporting events and imposing stiff taxes on our beloved beers. The door to diplomacy is still open but we fear the Governor’s tweet indicates that door could soon slam shut.”
Following Walz’s statement, North Dakota’s Congressional Delegation tweeted similar photos of Mount Rushmore, all but confirming a North Dakota invasion of South Dakota is imminent.
More on this story as it develops.
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