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Bismarck School Board Digs Own Graves As COVID-19 Cases Soar Across North Dakota

Bismarck School Board says they may as well dig their own graves while they're still healthy and ground is thawed

Teddy Meadowlark by Teddy Meadowlark
November 17, 2021
in Local, Politics
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Bismarck School Board Digs Own Graves As COVID-19 Cases Soar Across North Dakota
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BISMARCK — Members of the Bismarck School Board dug their own graves today in yet another sign of submission to COVID-19.

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Members of the school board said the latest COVID-19 forecasts, combined with the inaction of local and state leaders compelled them to dig their own graves.

“The fact that we’re still healthy and breathing, we figured we had better get started on this inevitable process,” said Bismarck School Board President Karl Lembke. “It’s encouraging to see at least some of our state’s leaders taking action of some kind. The ground still being somewhat thawed was also a bonus.”

Lembke, who works in the insurance business, says he was also encouraged by his underwriters to dig his own grave.

Bismarck School Board members dug their own graves, signaling a sign of submission to the COVID-19 virus.

The grave digging ceremony was lead by school board member Dan Eastgate, who’s no stranger to burials. Mr. Eastgate’s family operates a local funeral home, which has provided the Bismarck community with funeral services for generations.

“We’ll be discussing our final wishes at the next school board meeting,” said Eastgate. “I’ll be leading the group through the difficult choices that come next including selecting our coffins and burial vaults. We’ve requested Governor Burgum and Bismarck Mayor Steve Bakken serve as our pallbearers so they can let us down one last time.”

More on this story as it develops.

The Flickertail Times is a satrical news site featuring all things North Dakotan. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send us your comments to editor@flickertailtimes.com

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Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark was born and raised in North Dakota. Today he travels often across the Flickertail State, drawing inspiration for his stories from the events and people shaping North Dakota.

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