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Kommer Latest Contestant Voted Off Burgum’s “Survivor – Cabinet Island” Reality TV Series

With two high profile departures, some worry Lt. Governor could be voted off next

Teddy Meadowlark by Teddy Meadowlark
August 30, 2020
in Politics
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Kommer Latest Contestant Voted Off Burgum’s “Survivor – Cabinet Island” Reality TV Series

Survivor, Burgum's Cabinet, is giving North Dakotans an inside look at the inner workings of state government.

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BISMARCK – Michelle Kommer was the latest contestant voted off of the “Survivor – Cabinet Island” Reality TV Series hosted by Governor Doug Burgum.

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The wildly popular reality television series gives North Dakotans an inside look at Governor Burgum’s cabinet and inner workings. Each week, cabinet-level officials are forced to participate in the “Gratitude Games” in order to secure resignation immunity. Costly errors, however, could cost contestants their careers.

Survivor, Burgum’s Cabinet, is giving North Dakotans an inside look at the inner workings of state government.

The popular television series has left viewers stunned in recent weeks with several high profile departures from Cabinet Island. Both Kommer and the State Health Officer, Dr. Andrew Stahl, were voted off the island by Burgum. Former State Health Officer Mylynn Tufte was voted off early on in the reality series.

With Kommer gone, insiders wonder who will be the next to depart Cabinet Island.

“It’s anyone’s guess,” says North Dakota Attorney General Wayne Stenehjem, who presides over the state’s gaming activities. “Nobody has seen or heard from Lieutenant Governor Brent Sanford recently. Most likely he’s hiding out in the Capitol, doing what he does best — flying under the radar, hoping to avoid eviction. I can’t argue that North Dakotans are having fun tuning in each week to see what Burgum does or doesn’t do next. But we are excited to be working on a North Dakota Lottery Game that allows players to bet on who will be voted off each week. That should generate some good dollars for the state given our economic downturn.”

Several high profile evictions off Burgum’s Cabinet Island have shocked audiences in recent weeks.

Despite the shocking departures from Burgum’s Cabinet Island, the Governor says he is pleased with his new reality television series.

“Survivor, Burgum’s Cabinet has been an innovate approach to government,” says Governor Burgum. “I’ve been disappointed by some of my cabinet members’ inability to express their gratitude in my Gratitude Games but my cabinet should have learned by now that if you can’t show up with gratitude, don’t bother to show up to work.”

Burgum says his cabinet contestants will utilize his controversial COVID-19 app to complete next week’s challenges on Survivor – Burgum’s Cabinet.

“The contestants will have to utilize the app, which is available on iOS and Android, to avoid close contact with COVID positive patients and be lead from clue to clue. Cabinet officials may have to avoid Pokemon Go players, sit through a Clay Jenkenson or Harold Schafer documentary at the Heritage Center without falling asleep, or navigate the House and Senate Chambers without touching the brass railings. It’s anyone’s guess. But the winner will secure immunity and be one step closer to serving another four years with me — I can’t think of a better prize than that.”

More on this story as it develops.

The Flickertail Times is a satrical news site featuring all things North Dakotan. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send us your comments to editor@flickertailtimes.com

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Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark was born and raised in North Dakota. Today he travels often across the Flickertail State, drawing inspiration for his stories from the events and people shaping North Dakota.

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