– Update –
Covid Omega has filled to capacity following UND outbreak.
Original story below.
Grand Forks – The University of North Dakota officially unveiled Covid Omega, the newest coed fraternity that will house students infected with the novel Coronavirus.
The University of North Dakota is the latest COVID-19 hotspot in the upper Midwest. Over 200 students have tested positive for the virus in recent days.
UND Dr. Andrew Armacost says the new fraternity will provide students with a sense of comfort in light of the pandemic by offering traditional fraternity amenities and experiences.
“As students go about their lives, partying, socializing, and ignoring North Dakota Smart Restart guidelines, we want to reassure them that in the likelihood they become infected with COVID-19, their social lives and the spirit of fraternal brotherhood need not suffer,” says Armacost. “That is why we are happy to unveil Covid Omega, the first and only fraternity in the nation for COVID-19 positive students. Here students can relax, recover, and mingle. COVID Omega will feature all the amenities found at neighboring fraternities with special precautions to ensure the virus does not spread to other parts of campus including antibacterial Solo Cups and higher concentrations of chlorine in the fraternity’s hot tubs. There is a special bond between those infected with the novel coronavirus and Covid Omega will be the exclusive coed fraternity for those who share that bond. Despite all the challenges the pandemic presents, our lives must continue. And through COVID Omega, the partying shall endure.”
Students residing in Covid Omega will not be allowed to leave the coed fraternity until they test negative for the coronavirus. However, students will still have access to other luxuries in Grand Forks including curbside delivery of $1 Long Island Teas courtesy of the El Rocko Nightclub. UND says their aerospace program is also examining contactless delivery methods of necessities through the use of drones. Goods including food, birth control, and beer could be deployed to students at the fraternity 24 hours a day through UAVs.
As new cases of coronavirus continue to skyrocket in Grand Forks and across North Dakota, Governor Burgum is expected to adjust his color-coded COVID-19 risk chart from green (low risk) to chartreuse (relatively low risk).
“Although North Dakota is experiencing hundreds of new cases of COVID-19, the risk to the public is still relatively low,” said Burgum. “After weighing the public health and political risks of adjusting our threat assessment, I have ordered my graphic designer to update North Dakota’s COVID-19 risk chart from green to chartreuse. This was not an easy decision. It is important now, more than ever, that we remain North Dakota Smart by exercising individual responsibility. I applaud UND’s interventional steps to mitigate the spread of Covid-19 by creating the Covid Omega Fraternity. By placing the burden of this pandemic on the shoulders others, North Dakotans can rest easy knowing I will sleep soundly at night.”
Burgum says despite recent staff shakeups within his cabinet, North Dakota is still equipped to handle the pandemic. Dr. Pepper, who Governor Burgum tapped to join the state’s COVID-19 taskforce in April, will replace outgoing State Health Officer Dr. Andrew Stahl.
Stahl says he is leaving the Burgum administration to salvage what’s left of his sanity and credibility.
More on this story as it develops.
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