The Flickertail Times
  • Home
  • Politics
  • North Dakota
  • Entertainment
No Result
View All Result
The Flickertail Times
No Result
View All Result
Home Politics

Legislature Approves Use of Legacy Funds for Death Star Reconstruction

Death Star Proposal Approved by North Dakota Galactic House and Senate Chambers

Teddy Meadowlark by Teddy Meadowlark
August 27, 2020
in Politics
20 1
0
Legislature Approves Use of Legacy Funds for Death Star Reconstruction

North Dakota's Death Star will cost tax-payers an estimated $15.6-septillion dollars.

132
SHARES
414
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

BISMARCK — The Galactic Chambers of the North Dakota House and Senate today overwhelmingly voted to use Legacy Fund dollars to rebuild the Death Star.

You might also like

Fears Mount North Dakota Could Soon Invade South Dakota Following Ominous Burgum Tweet

Spirit Halloween Occupies Seat of Expelled North Dakota Legislator

Legislature Adopts Strict Female Dress Code & Policies to Curb Unwanted Advances From Male Legislators

The proposed project will cost an estimated 15.6 septillion dollars, effectively blowing the entire Legacy Fund budget. Tax-payers will be required to pay for the remainder of the bill through property-tax and sales-tax increases starting in August of this year through December of 2138.

North Dakota’s Death Star will cost tax-payers an estimated $15.6-septillion dollars.

“This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of the Legacy Funds, and soon the world shall witness the firepower of our fully armed and operational battle station,” said North Dakota Senate Majority Leader Rich Wardner during a legislative address. “With the Death Star at our command, we shall rule the galaxy.”

Construction of the Death Star will take place above the skies of the State Capitol. North Dakota Tourism says the space station will be a “must-see” on everyone’s list.

“We fully expect to see a surge in tourism thanks to the efforts of the legislature,” says North Dakota’s Director of Galactic Space Tourism Grand Moff Coleman. “And if we don’t, well, we all know what happened to Alderan.”

The budget proposal plans for the Death Star were scheduled to be delivered to Emperor Burgum’s office by Senator Joan Heckaman, however, she was last seen fleeing the State Capitol accompanied by a small droid headed towards the desert world of “Medora”. It is unclear if the Death Star plans are still in her possession.

Darth Sanford says Heckaman’s actions were “unfortunate” but were only a minor setback.

“It’s unfortunate that a small band of rebels are acting against the will of the people, however, we have dispatched a fleet of Imperial Highway Patrol Troopers to retrieve the plans. And everyone knows our troopers’ aim is impeccable.”

More on this story as it develops. Happy Star Wars Day everyone and May the 4th Be With You.

The Flickertail Times is a satirical news blog featuring all things North Dakotan. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send it to editor@flickertailtimes.com

Comments

Tags: star wars day
Share117Tweet6
Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark was born and raised in North Dakota. Today he travels often across the Flickertail State, drawing inspiration for his stories from the events and people shaping North Dakota.

Recommended For You

Fears Mount North Dakota Could Soon Invade South Dakota Following Ominous Burgum Tweet

by Teddy Meadowlark
February 21, 2022
0
Fears Mount North Dakota Could Soon Invade South Dakota Following Ominous Burgum Tweet

(Update - 5:20 p.m. CDT) North Dakota's congressional delegation have since tweeted similar photos of Mount Rushmore, all but confirming a North Dakota invasion in South Dakota could...

Read more

Spirit Halloween Occupies Seat of Expelled North Dakota Legislator

by Teddy Meadowlark
March 7, 2021
0
Spirit Halloween Occupies Seat of Expelled North Dakota Legislator

Bismarck - Spirit Halloween has occupied Luke Simon’s vacant seat after his historic expulsion from the North Dakota House of Representatives. A Spirit Halloween sign was spotted hanging...

Read more

Legislature Adopts Strict Female Dress Code & Policies to Curb Unwanted Advances From Male Legislators

by Teddy Meadowlark
March 7, 2021
0
Legislature Adopts Strict Female Dress Code & Policies to Curb Unwanted Advances From Male Legislators

Bismarck - Rep. Chet Pollert and Rep. Scott Louser recently unveiled strict policies aimed at female legislators and staff after years of complaints against Rep. Luke Simons surfaced...

Read more

Congress Passes McStimulus Package, Americans to Receive McRib Sandwiches

by Teddy Meadowlark
December 20, 2020
0
Congress Passes McStimulus Package, Americans to Receive McRib Sandwiches

WASHINGTON, DC — Congressional leaders unveiled this evening their long-awaited stimulus package that provides all American households with a McRib sandwich. Dubbed the "McStimulus", leaders in both parties...

Read more

Former ND Governor Jack Dalrymple Cast in Live Action “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

by Teddy Meadowlark
November 17, 2021
0
Former ND Governor Jack Dalrymple Cast in Live Action “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

BISMARCK — Former North Dakota Jack Darlymple announced today he has been cast to play the role of Burgermeister Meisterburger in a live-action adaption of "Santa Claus is...

Read more
Next Post
Bismarck Bubble Observed For the First Time With Naked Eye

Bismarck Bubble Observed For the First Time With Naked Eye

Related News

North Dakota Now Accepting Applications for Good Ol’ Boys Commission

North Dakota Now Accepting Applications for Good Ol’ Boys Commission

November 17, 2021
Spirit Halloween Occupies Seat of Expelled North Dakota Legislator

Spirit Halloween Occupies Seat of Expelled North Dakota Legislator

March 7, 2021
North Dakota Governor Classifies Self As Essential Employee, Fulfilling Lifelong Dream to Drive DOT Snowplow

North Dakota Governor Classifies Self As Essential Employee, Fulfilling Lifelong Dream to Drive DOT Snowplow

April 12, 2022

Browse by Category

  • Entertainment
  • Featured
  • Fun & Games
  • Lifestyle
  • Local
  • News
  • North Dakota
  • Outdoors & Sports
  • Politics

The Flickertail Times is a sattrical news blog featuring all things North Dakotan.

CATEGORIES

  • Entertainment
  • Featured
  • Fun & Games
  • Lifestyle
  • Local
  • News
  • North Dakota
  • Outdoors & Sports
  • Politics

© 2017 Flickertail Times

No Result
View All Result
  • Home
  • Landing Page
  • Buy JNews
  • Support Forum
  • Contact Us

© 2017 Flickertail Times

Welcome Back!

Login to your account below

Forgotten Password?

Retrieve your password

Please enter your username or email address to reset your password.

Log In
Are you sure want to unlock this post?
Unlock left : 0
Are you sure want to cancel subscription?