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Home Government & Politics

North Dakota Commerce Launches New Meth Campaign

by Teddy Meadowlark
November 19, 2019
in Government & Politics
North Dakota Commerce Launches New Meth Campaign
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BISMARCK — The North Dakota Department of Commerce announced today the launch of a new campaign to bring opportunity awareness for North Dakota’s small business owners and entrepreneurs while referencing South Dakota’s controversial methamphetamine awareness ads.

Titled “Meth: We Make It, They Buy It” with an arrow pointing towards South Dakota, the North Dakota Department of Commerce hopes to attract new business owners to the state and those seeking lucrative opportunities.

“While South Dakota see’s the meth situation as a problem, we see it as an opportunity,” says Dan Coke, ND Commerce Senior Alternative Business Venture Manager. “Our new awareness campaign highlights North Dakota’s ingenuity and ability to adapt to our nation’s growing needs, whatever they may be. And with miles upon miles of wide open spaces in North Dakota, there’s plenty of opportunity here for folks to move in and start their own businesses in their campers, vacant barns, or wherever opportunity leads them.”

The North Dakota Department of Commerce says they are working closely with the Bank of North Dakota to provide financial guidance on the region’s lucrative opportunities.

“For now, our friends at the Bank of North Dakota recommend accepting cash-only payments for entrepreneurs hoping to cash in on South Dakota’s unique needs,” says Coke. “Should businesses run into any issues however, we have assurances from the North Dakota Ethics Commission that they are not interested in reviewing any complaints in the immediate future.”

In response to the North Dakota Department of Commerce’s ad, a surge for propane demands has impacted the entire state of North Dakota.

Crystal Hethhouse, a spokeswoman at the North Dakota Department of Commerce says the propane shortage is proof the state’s meth advertisements are working.

“People are flocking here thanks to our realtively loose business standards, wide open spaces, and South Dakota’s increased needs. It’s no secret why folks are buying propane,” says Hethhouse.”

More on this story as it develops.

The Flickertail Times is a satirical humor blog featuring all things North Dakota. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send it all to: editor@flickertailtimes.com

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Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark

Teddy Meadowlark was born and raised in North Dakota. Today he travels often across the Flickertail State, drawing inspiration for his stories from the events and people shaping North Dakota.

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