Washington, D.C. — Senator Kevin Cramer has formed a new support group to aid white North Dakotans who have experienced racism.
The group was formed by Cramer after he revealed he has been the target of racism because he’s from North Dakota in a recent interview with GOP Therapist, Rob Port.
“I have experienced racism simply for being North Dakotan,” said Cramer in a press release. “And this is very difficult for me to talk about because it hurts so hard. Every day in the Senate cafeteria, the cooks and even my colleagues snicker at me when I ask if tater tot hotdish is on the menu. When I tell folks I’m from North Dakota, I’m often asked if we have electricity or running water. And countless times, I have to remind folks that Mount Rushmore is in South Dakota, not in North Dakota. Even at the airport, people are surprised that I’m able to fly home because they assume we only have horses and buggies. It’s these sort of racist, bigoted attacks that can no longer be tolerated. Representative Cummings speaks about the racism he experienced years ago, but I experience it every day and enough is enough. That’s why I’m pleased to announce North Dakota Ambiguous, a support group exclusively for white North Dakotans like me who have been the subject of jokes, racism, and hatred. We’re here to support each other and celebrate our white, North Dakotan heritage.”
Cramer says anyone is welcome to join a support group session as long as they’re white and North Dakotan.
“To my knowledge, North Dakota doesn’t have any other races besides Caucasians. We do have Native Americans however they consider themselves a sovereign nation so they’re not really North Dakotan. But those who come to a support group session will be welcomed lovingly as we serve North Dakota staples including tater tot hotdish, Knoephla soup, kuchen, lefsa, and hot beef sandwiches and share how we’ve been the victims of racism and how we can develop sensible solutions to combat senseless hate,” said Cramer.
Cramer says he’s considering asking President Trump to declare North Dakota a disaster zone which would allow the state to tap into federal emergency funds.
“We could use those funds to build a wall around our borders or ramp up security in all public places to keep hate out of our great state,” said Cramer.
Cramer’s staff brushed off criticism from critics who said North Dakotan is not a race.
“That’s nonsense. Senator Cramer’s 23andMe results said he was broadly North Dakotan and we are happy to release those results today to the media,” said Cramer’s Director of Ancestry Relations Jacob Altright.
Cramer says his staff will be releasing a timeline of upcoming North Dakota Ambiguous meetings shortly.
“In the meantime, we advise North Dakotans to stick together, avoid unnecessary travel and to immediately report to our office if they have been the subject of hate crimes or racism due to their North Dakota heritage.”
The Flickertail Times is a satirical humor blog featuring all things North Dakota. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send it all to: editor@flickertailtimes.com
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