Bismarck — For years, mankind has attempted and failed to explain phenomenon that have captured the attention of millions and puzzled the minds of scientists and scholars. Mysteries such as the Bermuda Triangle, the Lochness Monster, UFO sightings and the Lost City of Atlantis have perplexed many and are the frequent subjects of controversy.
And now, one anomaly in North Dakota can add itself to the list of the world’s greatest mysteries – the Bismarck Bubble.
Residents in Bismarck have long scratched their heads at a rare weather occurrence dubbed the Bismarck Bubble, that has shielded the city from an assortment of severe weather incidents. Blizzards, severe thunderstorms, and tornadoes have all fallen victim to the Bismarck Bubble.
“Something is definitely up there,” says Bismarck resident Gayle Stratus. “Maybe it’s God shielding us from his wrath. He’s obviously displeased with Mandan because they always get hit.”
For years, meteorologists have dismissed the Bismarck Bubble theory, but the weather phenomena has caught the attention of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). As a result, NOAA is devoting additional resources to the Bismarck National Weather Service to investigate the mystery.
“A number of atmospheric disturbances located in the troposphere above Bismarck have been documented on multiple occasions. The disturbance has been linked to the sudden dissipation of severe weather at the mature stage, shielding Bismarck from flash flooding, strong winds, large hail, blizzard conditions and even tornadoes,” says NOAA Director of Anomalies Dr. Jim Lapsing. “Typically, moisture and instability applied to a lifting force, such as the natural heating of the earth’s surface, push the air high into the atmosphere leading to tall, Cumulonimbus clouds that are more commonly referred to as anvil heads. The frigid dense air at the top of these storms can no longer be supported, leading to falling precipitation and severe weather. Moisture plays a part in this cycle as humid air cools more slowly, allowing air to climb faster and higher, leading to larger storms. However, we have noticed pockets of dry air surrounding the city of Bismarck that acts like a vacuum and draws moisture out of the systems, resulting in the sudden collapse of storms, leading residents to conclude a bubble surrounds the skies of Bismarck. What the source of this bubble is remains a mystery to us. However, this phenomena can no longer be dismissed by the scientific community, which is why we have devoted additional resources to the Bismarck National Weather Service to investigate this matter.”
The Bismarck Bubble famously shielded the city from the historic Bomb Cyclone weather event in early March of 2019. The storm was forecast at Category 2 hurricane strength, prompting the Bismarck Public Schools to cancel all classes 24 hours in advance of the storm. But the Bomb Cyclone was no match for the Bismarck Bubble and the city again was shielded due to the pocket of dry air that surrounded the city.
Dr. Daniel Storms at the Bismarck National Weather Service says although the Bismarck Bubble has eluded many meteorologists and been dismissed by others, a long-standing theory attributes the bubble to North Dakota’s biennial legislature.
“We’ve noticed the Bismarck bubble has a two-year life cycle before it replenishes itself. In 2017 for example, regular occurrences of the Bismarck bubble were documented but by late 2018, these occurrences diminished greatly in number. However, by January of 2019, the bubble was back, shielding Bismarck from excess moisture observed in neighboring areas, specifically in the form of snowfall. We expect this pocket of dry air to remain in Bismarck until mid-2020. By late fall, the pocket of dry air could be gone again leading to early winter storms in mid October and early November. But by January of 2021, if the cycle follows past trends, we expect to see the dry air return to the troposphere above Bismarck, leading to below average precipitation. It’s clear that at some point in early January of every-other year, the dry air is fed by some sort of external force and our theory is that our legislators at the State Capitol are the source of this dry, often hot air. The cycle of hot, dry air forming, dissipating and then replenishing itself is nearly identical to North Dakota’s bi-annual legislative cycle. We couldn’t call ourselves scientists unless we acknowledge this observance and fully investigate the relationship between the Bismarck Bubble and our state’s legislature.”
Some residents in Bismarck however, have another theory as to the source of the Bismarck Bubble.
“It’s as if Bismarck has a black hole hanging somewhere in the atmosphere that literally sucks the life out of every storm before it hits our city,” says Bismarck resident Dusty Squall. “I think the government is using chemtrails to control our weather or using cloud seeding like the Illuminati controlled Ward County Weather Modification Board does.”
A great deal of mystery surrounds the Ward County Weather Modification Board. The Board’s very existence was denied for years until recently when members of the mysterious group admitted cloud seeding was practiced above the skies of Minot.
No word on if such a board exists in Burleigh County near Bismarck or if any such boards are controlled by the Illuminati. Local government officials have declined to comment on the matter.
Despite the many theories surrounding the Bismarck Bubble, the Bismarck National Weather Service is eager to begin its in-depth, six year study.
“We’re obviously hoping to solve this mystery once and for all and are confident science will lead us to the answers we’re looking for,” says Storms. “But in the interest of science and for the greater good, it’d be helpful if our legislature could skip the next legislative session entirely.”
The Flickertail Times is a satirical humor blog featuring all things North Dakota. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send it all to: email@example.com
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