Bismarck, N.D. – North Dakota’s artistic community isn’t pleased with the North Dakota Department of Commerce after the state agency refused to meet the demands of hundreds of artistic millennials who have called for the removal of the newly designed state tourism logo.

Artists from across North Dakota garnered signatures for a petition months ago, demanding that the North Dakota Department of Commerce change their newly designed tourism logo after the branding’s unveiling, all to the silent ear of the agency. The logo, as first reported by the Flickertail Times, was created by Governor Burgum’s secretary in Microsoft Word.

However, the artist-lead campaign quickly flopped, leaving the North Dakota Department of Commerce the last ones laughing.

“We created the worst possible logo for a reason,” says a ND Department of Commerce Disinformation Specialist. “We had hoped that by creating something really bad, the artistic community would jump in and create something truly spectacular. But that’s where things went south. Apparently North Dakota’s artists got their feelings hurt that we created such a terrible logo in the first place and resorted to creating an uninspiring petition to deal with it. In the weeks that followed our unveiling, not once did anyone from the artistic community bring forth a new logo as a recommendation or proposal. Instead, their ‘brilliant idea’ was asking us to resurrect the old logo and take some time to meet with their group so they could share their feelings. Their response and demands are exactly why we continue our practice of hiring out-of-state agencies to conduct most of our tourism branding. North Dakota’s artistic community is just too uninspired and amateur to work with. This whole controversy has really lead to a larger conversation that really needs to be addressed. North Dakota is facing a logo crisis. Anytime a logo is unveiled in our state, people come out of the woodwork demanding we keep the old logo that was replaced. Don’t even get us started with the University of North Dakota controversy. The University System is still trying to figure out how to deal with Fighting Sioux memorabilia black market. We’re hoping legislators can earmark some money in the upcoming session to help citizens work out their personal logo issues and get the professional help they need.”

In addition to the artists’ logo demands, they also asked the North Dakota Department of Commerce to improve workplace conditions for all millenials and artists across North Dakota.

“We agreed to meet with the group just to say we took the time to meet with them. But during our meeting, the artists also proposed additional demands, insisting that all employers make gluten-free and vegan snacks freely available in the workplace, ping-pong tables and retro arcade games in break rooms, espresso machine allowances, bean bag rooms to foster creativity, and all starting wages to begin at $60,000 regardless of experience or education. Needless to say, we just smiled and nodded throughout the meeting, nothing more,” said the Disinformation Specialist.

As the North Dakota Department of Commerce moves ahead, the artistic community says the fight isn’t over.

“We’re going to just keep emailing them and make noise online until they listen to our demands,” says one petitioner. “When we didn’t get our way as kids, we just cried louder and that always worked with our parents. The North Dakota Department of Commerce can’t ignore us forever. We’re going to continue our march into the new year by doing the most millennial thing we know – writing emails, letters, and sharing our experiences in focus groups as we sip on thoughtfully made espresso drinks. We know North Dakota has absolutely nothing else to focus on in the next six months, so we’d appreciate it if they could focus on us and this logo.”

The petitioners’ last ditch efforts to flood the Department of Commerce with emails coincides the week after Christmas, a time when most state employees are on vacation and not reading their emails. No word on if the North Dakota Department of Commerce plans to block future emails from petitioners. More on this story as it develops.

The Flickertail Times is a satirical news blog featuring all things North Dakota. Feedback? We’d love to hear it. Send it all to: editor@flickertailtimes.com

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