Marshall County, S.D. — Hundreds of North Dakotans were forced to cancel their winter break plans in South Dakota after the TransCanada pipeline dumped 200,000+ gallons of oil on the state.
South Dakota is North Dakota’s most popular winter and spring break destination. While only a few miles from North Dakota, South Dakota enjoys tropical weather conditions year round, due it its southernly name.
“I’ve already returned the shorts I planned to wear all Thanksigiving while vacationing in South Dakota,” said one Bismarck resident. “I was so looking forward to the trip and to work on my tan.”
“I guess I’m confused,” said another resident. “I was told by everyone on Facebook that pipelines don’t leak. So that’s fake news too? I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
News of the pipeline leak hasn’t stopped all North Dakota residents from trekking south. Marty and Martha Dickers, self-proclaimed snowbirds, said they still plan on traveling south.
“A little oil won’t hurt anything,” said the couple. “Heck what do you think is going to power all the machinery that’ll clean up the mess in South Dakota? Hugs? If anything I bet that oil will be good for the farmers due to the drought we’ve had. Moisture is moisture afterall.”
News of the spill has lead many speculating to the cause. Currently the most popular theory among the popular private detective network, Facebook.com, points blame at water protectors and environmental terrorists.
Despite its orientation, the TransCanada Pipeline remains unpopular with progressives.
Stay tuned to the Flickertail Times as this story develops.
*The Flickertail Times is a satirical (fake news) news blog focusing on all things North Dakotan. Feedback? We’d love to hear it! Send us anything and everything to: [email protected]