Washington, D.C. — President Trump announced today that North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum, Senator John Hoeven, Representative Kevin Cramer, and Secretary of Energy Rick Perry have been asked to man the first Space Force flight, lifting off in 2019.
Space Force is a new branch of the military, created by President Trump, to conduct space warfare and defend the universe against foreign invaders.
President Trump announced his Space Force picks in an official announcement Wednesday afternoon at the White House.
“There’s never been a bigger bunch of space cadets than Doug, John, Rick, and Kevin,” said Trump in the official statement. “Their minds and imaginations, which often stretch beyond the realm of earthly possibility and logical reasoning, lead me to believe they were the most qualified crew to lead nation’s first Space Force Flight.”
Senator John Hoeven will serve as the flight’s official Commander and Earth Ambassador, Rep. Kevin Cramer will serve as Flight Scientist and Chief Space Cadet, Goveror Doug Burgum will serve as Chief Technology Officer and Flight Mascot, and Secretary Rick Perry will serve as Chief Energy Office and Flight Stylist.
Burgum, Hoeven, Cramer, and Perry are preparing for their first journey into space at the Space Force Intergalactic Training Facility in Houston, TX. Their rigorous testing includes simulating exploration on…
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Bismarck — Governor Doug Burgum announced a plan to encourage state employees to take early retirements by offering potential retirees a suite of Microsoft products.
Burgum’s plan was announced just days after the 2019-2021 State Budget was revealed which asks for 5-10% cuts in spending. By enticing early retirements, Governor Burgum hopes North Dakota can avoid a budget crisis.
“We’ve reached a critical point in North Dakota, and tough situations need innovative solutions,” says Burgum. “The plan we are announcing today will encourage state employees to retire early, while offering them innovative products to foster forward thinking. What we are offering all state employees today is more than just a retirement, it’s an opportunity to ride curiosity into the sunset.”
State employees who agree to an early retirement will forgo 60% of their pension plan, but will receive a lifetime Windows Vista subscription, a 120 GB Zune music player pre-loaded with Governor Burgum’s favorite hits, a Windows mobile phone (mobile data and service sold separately), a Hotmail account, and access to a revived MSN Messenger chat service.
“Sure, some people might be forced to retire, but they’ll be retiring in style,” says a spokesperson for Governor Burgum. “State employees should know we care deeply about them and the service they’ve rendered the public. With the Governor’s budget cuts, we simply cannot afford to give state employees their full pensions, but we feel by offering employees a suite of gadgets, it’s really an even trade. You can’t put a price on a lifetime subscription to Windows Vista.”
Clint Johnson, a…