Bismarck — Governor Doug Burgum announced a plan to encourage state employees to take early retirements by offering potential retirees a suite of Microsoft products.
Burgum’s plan was announced just days after the 2019-2021 State Budget was revealed which asks for 5-10% cuts in spending. By enticing early retirements, Governor Burgum hopes North Dakota can avoid a budget crisis.
“We’ve reached a critical point in North Dakota, and tough situations need innovative solutions,” says Burgum. “The plan we are announcing today will encourage state employees to retire early, while offering them innovative products to foster forward thinking. What we are offering all state employees today is more than just a retirement, it’s an opportunity to ride curiosity into the sunset.”
State employees who agree to an early retirement will forgo 60% of their pension plan, but will receive a lifetime Windows Vista subscription, a 120 GB Zune music player pre-loaded with Governor Burgum’s favorite hits, a Windows mobile phone (mobile data and service sold separately), a Hotmail account, and access to a revived MSN Messenger chat service.
“Sure, some people might be forced to retire, but they’ll be retiring in style,” says a spokesperson for Governor Burgum. “State employees should know we care deeply about them and the service they’ve rendered the public. With the Governor’s budget cuts, we simply cannot afford to give state employees their full pensions, but we feel by offering employees a suite of gadgets, it’s really an even trade. You can’t put a price on a lifetime subscription to Windows Vista.”
Clint Johnson, a…
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Bismarck, ND — State officials in Bismarck unveiled the latest mug in a national coffee chain’s “Been Here” collection, featuring North Dakota. The “Been Here” collection features all 50 US States with detailed illustrations of landmarks, wildlife, and points of interest.
North Dakota’s design for the collection features endless fields and prairies of snow with scattered bison, to accurately portray North Dakota’s endless winter season and rugged wildlife, according to North Dakota Department of Tourism officials.
“It was a tough decision to narrow down our design choices, but in the end, winter won, as it always does in North Dakota,” says North Dakota Department of Tourism Chief Barista, Joseph Verdona. “Other design options included traffic cones and highway construction workers, the Badlands, roadkill and hunters affectionately field dressing a deer. In the end, we settled on snow, layered on top of snow, blanketing endless prairies, highlighted with scattered bison. The mug is highlighted by a rustic sans-serif font that pays tribute to the wild frontier of North Dakota.”
The overall reaction to the mug has been positive.
“I’ve lived here my entire life and that’s about as accurate of a depiction as you get,” said one area man. “Snow, snow, and more snow. Heck, even the population here is mostly white so the mug checks off a few boxes.”
In addition to the mug’s design, North Dakota officials are examining a few ways the mug could also capture North Dakota’s legendary wind chills.
“One idea we have is to have the baristas and employees slap the customer in the face…