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The Flickertail Times

Bismarck, N.D. — The State Capitol was put on lockdown after hundreds of angry graphic designers and artists stormed the Governor’s office demanding Governor Burgum withdraw the state’s new tourism logo.

Last week, Governor Burgum unveiled the state’s new Legendary Tourism logo, which prompted today’s protests on the capitol grounds.

Hundreds of artists chained themselves outside the Governor’s office in response to the logo unveiling. One artist was arrested after spray painting the previous North Dakota Legendary Logo on the side of the Governor’s Mansion. Artists also spread petitions demanding the Governor take immediate action to reverse his decision on the state’s new brand identity.

“It’s a travesty,” said one protester. “I know North Dakota was trying to save money on unnecessary spending, but after seeing this new logo, I’m starting to think our whole state is bankrupt.”

North Dakota Secretary of State Candidate Joshua Boschee says the logo will hurt future trade, commerce, and diplomatic relations and needs to be reverted immediately.

“This is not North Dakota Fabulous,” says Boschee, referencing his plan to re-brand the state’s tourism logo if elected to office.

In response to the protests, the North Dakota Highway Patrol evacuated Governor Burgum to a secure location.

Despite outrage from the artistic community, some state officials are optimistic that the new brand identity will resonate with audiences due in part to the significant cost savings involved with designing the…



From Main Street With Love

Meadowlark / Nov 15
I have to give my flick of tail (tip of the hat) to Governor Burgum for trying to inspire communities across this great state of ours, through his Main Street

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The Flickertail Times

Minot, N.D. — Shock waves were felt across the famed Norsk Hostfest event this week after Miss Norsk Hostfest was stripped of her title after a DNA test revealed she was not of Norweigan heritage.

The Norsk Hostfest, hosted in Minot, N.D., is the largest Scandinavian festival held in the United States. Each year thousands of Norwegians and North Dakotans convene to strengthen their relations by crowning a new Miss Norsk Hostfest.

Norsk Hostfest pageant officials announced at a stunning press conference that Miss Norsk Hostfest failed a 23andMe DNA test. The test revealed the beauty queen was actually of German descent, not Norwegian, thus disqualifying her from the coveted title. It is unclear how the disgraced pageant contestant passed her preliminary Hostfest background screenings, however officials could not rule out the beauty queen was involved in a underground Lutefisk doping ring. Following the stunning revelation of her heritage, Miss Norsk Hostfest was promptly escorted from the North Dakota State Fairgrounds.

Miss Norsk Hostfest now joins a disgraced list of athletes and celebrities rocked by doping scandals. The controversy has sent U.S. diplomats scrambling to repair relations with Norway, casting doubt upon future partnerships between the two countries.

“We’re in crisis mode,” said the UN official on condition of anonymity. “We don’t fully understand what the short or long term repercussions of this scandal mean. Norway could easily make it more expensive for us to access Norwegian goods and services such as fish, sweaters, and lefsa. Worst case scenario…

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